The Danes, who are famously well-balanced, for example, do not overload their children. The essence of their approach is that, in parenting and education, strengthening skills that help children thrive in life is more important than the transfer of knowledge: they emphasize fostering independence, flexibility, self-confidence, stress management, and effective social behaviors. To this end, they provide children with plenty of free playtime. This is how Danish children become independent, self-confident, and successful. Furthermore, Danish parents firmly believe that if a child is constantly under pressure to perform, they will not develop an intrinsic motivation to learn. Yet everyone knows that intrinsically motivated learning is the most effective and beneficial.
As a child psychologist, I agree with the Danish approach. An anxious person with low self-esteem doesn’t feel successful, even if they have books hundreds of pages long in their head. Of course, I’m not encouraging parents to ignore their children’s academic progress! Rather , I’d like to draw attention to the fact that we shouldn’t rush children in their learning, and we shouldn’t convey to them that they’re only valuable if they perform exceptionally well! People considered successful in the 21st century are flexible, independent, self-confident , and effective communicators. The constant pressure to meet excessive expectations actually reinforces the exact opposites of these qualities.
We should definitely provide children with appropriate developmental activities if they are truly needed—that is, if there is a specific issue that needs to be addressed. But we should never put pressure on them to be more knowledgeable than what is expected for their age!
Let’s create as many opportunities as possible for them to prepare for the future through free play, so they can grow into children—and later, adults—who are truly ready for life.
References:
Alexander, Sandahl: Parenting the Danish Way
