Let the child play freely!

Introduction

In theory, it’s only natural that a child’s most important activity is carefree play, but in everyday practice, unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen. The essence of free play is that the child chooses freely, and the experience of play itself brings them joy. Just think about how often parents get in the way of their children’s play! In my experience, we often nag the little ones more than we should. Whether out of good intentions or unconsciously, we prevent them from becoming fully immersed in play. Most readers are probably taking offense right now, insisting that they already give their children plenty of freedom! I hope they’re right, but my experience is that we aren’t always aware of the impact our automatic reactions have.

I'm thinking about when we make comments about our child's play that influence them, and as a result, that play isn't quite as free anymore:

“Play nicely!”
“You’re playing with that again, even though there are so many other nice things on your shelf!”
“We have to play this again? We’re so bored of it!”
“We bought you this toy yesterday, and you’re not playing with it?”
“You have to play with your sibling!”

And the list could go on and on. With these phrases, we’re suggesting to the child that they’re not playing according to our expectations. Butplay should be about them, not about us.When it’s about them, free play has a beneficial effect: it relieves tension, gives expression to imagination and emotions, develops independence, and boosts self-confidence. Of course,minimal boundaries are necessaryto ensure that the child does not endanger anyone or anything while playing, but beyond that, let them do whatever they want!

Let’s not force our children to play with toys they have no interest in!Just because we—or the neighbor’s little girl or boy—like something doesn’t mean our child will, too. The same goes for when we want to develop a specific skill. For example, we all know that board games help children learn to follow rules. But if our child doesn’t yet enjoy playing board games at the table, let’s not force them to! Let’s find an activity to develop their sense of rules that they actually enjoy doing, such as an obstacle course. And maybe in six months, they’ll be happy to sit down at the game board with their parents. But if we push them too hard, we risk fostering lasting resistance in them.

Therefore, it is extremely important for children to have as much freedom as possible during playtime within a safe environment, as this contributes to their current psychological well-being and also has a beneficial effect on their long-term personality development.